Friday, December 30, 2011

I Did It

I found him.

He came to me and asked for forgiveness.  He begged me and he was rotting, rotting already.

I took a knife.

And I murdered him for what he did to me.

I stabbed and stabbed and stabbed until he was dead and gone gone gone gone.

Daniel is dead.  D is dead.

I think he might've been dead before I even started cutting him.

And now he's on the floor.

And grey is covering him.  Like my bruises.  Like the shadows.

It's spreading as I sob.  Spreading up my arms and down my chest and to my face.

It's making me laugh.  Even though I'm crying it's making me laugh.  It's telling me that it's all over now.

Now I can rest.  I've done it.  Now it's over.

Because in the end, Boudica failed.  And now I've failed.

They're telling me to put the knife to my wrists.

There's nothing for me.

Nothing but pain because they won't let me be, they'll never let me.  I'm theirs, forever and I'd rather die anyway.  Rather die than have more of this.

I'm sorry, Faith.  I'm sorry mom and dad.