Tuesday, December 13, 2011


My parents have Faith is here keeping an eye on me.  Making sure I don't do anything rash.

It was just one sleeping pill.  I wasn't trying to kill myself.  I just didn't want any dreams.  I don't want to be awake, either.

They keep happening.  I dream I wake up and the shadows are talking to me.  They're telling me that revenge will solve all my problems.  They're telling me all I have to do is sever the source of my troubles and they'll all just  fade away.

That I have to rise.  Rise as Boudica.

But they're not just dreams anymore.  I catch whispers wherever I go.  At some point, the background noise gets dimmer and the shadows start whispering and they keep saying the same things.  I think I'm coming apart.

I don't know what to do.  I can't stop the voices.  I try to cover my ears but then I hear it in the sound of my ears being covered.

And when I do sleep, when I wake up...there are bruises on my arms.  Grey spots all over them.  What am I doing to myself?

Faith won't let me leave.  Not for any reason.  I guess it's for my own good.

I don't know what I'm going to do.  Am I really hearing voices?  Am I really going crazy?

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